Moms are the core of the family. They are meant as such. We hold the embryo, feed the fetus, birth the babe, breastfeed the hungry bear. I think it's fair to say we hold the core title. When I think of a core, I see an apple and cutting around the core, throwing it away, then eating the good stuff around it.
This week I have been the apple core of this family. I've thrown myself away feeling useless. Don't let my bleak state of mind deter you.
A woman who has become a special friend over many years of limited visits yet meaningful conversations when we see each other, acknowledged my feelings with the words of "shock and grief". I am in shock and grief-stricken. I gave birth to a defective baby and I feel responsible.
Fuck the world a thousand times over.
So much for my resolution of imparting happiness to the world each and every day to friends and strangers alike. Next blog post - promise.
Because this post has been so bleak, I'll give you this from the words of Maya and Sabrina.
Sabrina asked me prior to her dance class if I could "please blow up her tutu". My response was "..... huh?"
We were discussing what it was that we ate for dinner tonight, and I told Maya that it was catfish (really yummy onion and dijon crusted recipe - mmm mmm good!). She replied in her very Maya way (she knows everything right now, underline everything) and said "Well!! Catfish is when cat's eat fish then barf it out and then Mummy re-cooks it to make it taste yummy again". My response was to first stop daddy's laughing so Maya would take seriously the inappropriateness of the comment and then a reminder to her that it is "vomit" not "barf"!!!
My word!!
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