Some time ago and over a period of time, I asked god to give me guidance; to give me the strength that would show me the way.
Then came Layla.
I looked deep into her eyes tonight, right into her soul and I told her this:
That she is the strength and she is showing me my way. Her being born is the strength behind my overcoming hurdles. Facing fears, being able to let go, navigating through anger and grief and finding the blessings and beauty in the moment. She is the pull of my feet to the earth.
Right now, I may not be able to pursue a career and achieve monetary gains / success, but right now, I can do and I can be just what I should be doing and being right this very moment in my life.
I've been pushed in this direction outside of my immediate control, but this child was born to me - to our family and so this reality must move us to go to a new level.
That she is an angel of the real kind and that she needs to know over and over again of how truly wonderful and special she is. She needs to be told that every day because she may not get it, but the repetition will do wonders for her soul. Her happy little soul.
Jen, I had no idea of what was going on in your life. I suppose that is a thanks that I give to Facebook, that it can reconnect me with those who I've always enjoyed - old friends to new. Here you are, writing in ways that have brought tears to my eyes. I have not met any of your children, and yet I feel that I have, thanks to your incredible prose and heart wrenching honesty. Keep sharing please, I love your words.
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