Last week, there was a day when I experienced a sense of real freedom around me. It started with my middle daughter on the swing soaring "up to the sky" and that look on her face. Like a mastercard commercial - priceless. Next up when I was walking home from #1's school and she was riding on her bike ahead of me. She too was soaring away from me. It was symbolic and sweet. Then as I'm carrying baby cakes in the front carrier, her calm reaction to the outdoors. My dear dear neighbour down the street walked up to us and was talking to Layla and she smiled in response.
There is something special about outdoors that releases a lot for me and I do transfer that onto my kids. I feel their freedom and happiness in the most basic things.
Layla will appreciate the fresh air more. When she breathes the air of late winter she will be free of thinking of the stressors of her day and experience the nature around her differently. Whether she rides that bike or swings up to the sky and back or not, her movement will create emotions that are beyond what I know. I wish for her less clutter and more simple happiness. We will all experience it vicariously through her. Whatever Layla's road ahead looks like, she will be free won't she.
Her neurologist said that she will be a happy person. I felt so stabbed in the heart, my response to that (inside voice of course) was to think - happy about what?
It's hard to put into words but I am slowly but very surely moving towards believeing that and really believing that.
There is tremendous freedom in letting go.
Jen,
ReplyDeleteWow, I had no idea you had started this blog about your adventures with dear Layla. I have almost been brought to tears from reading through your blog this morning, not out of sadness, but admiration for your strength and courage. Layla is truly blessed to have you to guide her through what is sure to be an enriched and happy life. Happy hugs!