NOTE: written back in January - held onto it, now it's ready to go out. All we need is love......
I am going out on a limb to channel my inner love guru to write this piece. Consider that a head's up... this one could go anywhere.
Valentine's Day is not a day that I put much stock into. This year, I am. It's a day to play up the love, all the love towards everyone everywhere.
There has been a lot of talk about love swirling around me lately, Troubles, heart aches and woes in the love department. I'm getting the sense that the whole lot of us - you, me, our friends and neighbours are struggling a bit or a lot with our lovers. Lovers - scary word. I hesitate from using it because it makes me think of actors making out on TV and the intense need for me to turn away and go wash my eyes out with soap while repeating holy thoughts in my head.
Marriages are in question. We're doubting and questioning our happiness with our life partners.
I am unsure but it intrigues me.
Here are my two cents:
I think that people and relationships have evolved separately from one another. People have a purpose and then there is the purpose of our marriage / partnership. We check in regularly with our individual purpose, while in our relationships - as those relationships settle - they become routine and happen and function almost in autopilot
.
Men hunted and gathered while women kept home and nurtured - it was a sensible balance and it works and then attachments happen within that framework. At the end of the day, the tired men and nurturing women cuddle up for comfort and good feelings. Sex makes sense and feels good and makes the babies to make the world go round. It is all so practical. Feelings are a natural by-product of all of this practicality and togetherness.
It's not like that now. Intimacy is foreign. Intimacy is super charged when we first meet and all that chemistry, then of course it will too settle. After that, the rest of it, it isn't so black and white.
After Sunday School I went to see a movie by myself - which is perfect because then I don't have to share my popcorn with anyone and I can chew really loud. So I went to see Blue Valentine. Several people told me that it is sad/depressing/will leave me blue/don't go see it alone or you may jump off the bridge kind of thing. Well you know, it wasn't that sad. At the end I didn't feel like crying. It was a movie depicting a couple as they as individuals experience love and marriage.
But you know I still reflect on that movie, on the sadness that runs through it .
I'd like to say that it is all good stuff, it is all learning and that love is great. Not the love for our gadgets or for our favourite foods, shoes, shops, things. But feeling - loving good feelings - it is great! The world really isn't changing, people aren't getting busier - we need to experience our sensations a little more and pay attention. What am I hoping to leave you (and me) with? To know what you need and you'll behave in ways that will bring about getting your needs met. We rule that; if I want to feel love and loved I will pay it all forward first. Instead of wishing for love, give it.
Right now, I need to tell a certain someone that I love him.
